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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”. The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
Sex without condoms is magical… A baby appears and father disappears.
An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells “Super Pussy!” The old man says “I’ll have the soup.”
Closets also had a lot of fun during New Year’s Eve celebration – instead of boring asses they saw a lot of new faces.
Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? A: Because their plugged into a genius!
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, “Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!” Maria replied, “See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!”